Comments on: Putting Flesh on the Bones http://kispln.kiswrites.org/2008/05/02/putting-flesh-on-the-bones/ doing things differently: the world as teacher Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:53:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=wordpress-mu-1.2.4 By: Clay Burell http://kispln.kiswrites.org/2008/05/02/putting-flesh-on-the-bones/#comment-278 Clay Burell Tue, 06 May 2008 03:32:50 +0000 http://kispln.kiswrites.org/2008/05/02/putting-flesh-on-the-bones/#comment-278 I think this is a great plan. Seriously, as a guy who doesn't play games, and doesn't really know the first thing about this world, it would have value for me. Because I _am_ curious. The only suggestion I have is the same suggestion any performer needs to hear: FIND A HOOK TO KEEP YOUR AUDIENCE, and USE IT EARLY. I mean by that: The first 30 seconds should be REALLY EXCITING, making me curious to want to know more. Tease the audience. THEN go into your intro and such. This "ART OF THE OPENING is true for any piece of expression, from game reviews to stories to TV to whatever. Also, make sure your voice is stronger on this next ones. It sounds breathy right now, and not very strong. THat's surprising, because you have a strong personality. Make your voice match it. I think this is a great plan. Seriously, as a guy who doesn’t play games, and doesn’t really know the first thing about this world, it would have value for me. Because I _am_ curious.

The only suggestion I have is the same suggestion any performer needs to hear: FIND A HOOK TO KEEP YOUR AUDIENCE, and USE IT EARLY.

I mean by that: The first 30 seconds should be REALLY EXCITING, making me curious to want to know more. Tease the audience. THEN go into your intro and such.

This “ART OF THE OPENING is true for any piece of expression, from game reviews to stories to TV to whatever.

Also, make sure your voice is stronger on this next ones. It sounds breathy right now, and not very strong. THat’s surprising, because you have a strong personality. Make your voice match it.

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